X-Men 3: Snikt snikt, sure--but why no bamf?!

Fuck! I gotta review the movies I've seen! It's tough as shit to capture, "OVERALL", how I feel about a film. I mean, while I'm watcing it, I think and feel many things, some of which could be considered opinions, and every time I think about it, after I've seen it, I think new things. New things I once knew.

So reviews are fragile.

In any case, X-Men 3 was a fucking exciting as hell and sweet-rad movie! ...But it wasn't very well written. And the first two X-mens were simply laced with depthy dialogue! Acting did well, and some of the moments were perfect (floating rocks are sweet, and so is everything that Ian McKellen does), but this movie makes random plot decisions and I become angry! Cyclops shooting the lake, for example... why did Phoenix do the things she did... or say any of the things she said... bah...

Here be spoilers, yo, so back off if you haven't gone yet. But, seriously, the way in which Phoenix killed people? Didn't the lady vampire in Blade 2 die in the same way? And didn't we all learn a good lesson when we saw that spectacle... THAT IT LOOKS SHITTY!!? She needs to be much more powerful, after all that buildup--have her envelope Alcatraz in energy and destroy it or something. Go watch Neon Genesis Evangelion, or Akira or something. And I love Wolverine walking slowly up to Phoenix *healing as quickly as she can hurt him.* Why didn't the (second) most powerful mutant in the world get his ass exploded, when Phoenix can't "bring herself" to make confetti of Logan? And don't tell me it's cause she's in love with him, Brett Ratner, cause you directed Rush Hour, so you don't get to argue about anything. The first two films (your canon, Brett Ratner) establish pretty clearly that Jean Grey is attracted to Logan, but very commited to Scott. And, granted, Scott doesn't like women, but Jean's a classy ho, and she wed the confused bastard. Jumping on Logan I can see--her unlocked powers were clearly like Ecstacy to her, but to kill her husband and then onlu let Logan get close to her? Out of character.

Yep, that's the major problem with this one: it's riddled with Out of Character. If I were distributing the DVD, I'd make sure to put a warning sticker on the front, to that effect: "Out of Character: While a sweet conclusion to a fantastic trilogy, this installment has crazy leaps away from the inernal logic of the franchise." And if people say "what do you mean? When?" I'd skip to the chapter when Professor X acts arbitrarily antagonistic to Logan. He'd always been so gentle and confident, and suddenly, this film has him off-handedly knocking Logan down, belittling him, and then to really establish how 2-dimensional he's become, he obviously doesn't know how to deal with his most important pupil when she freaks out and regresses to a little girl, or whatever. And she shouldn't have turned green. I believe Dark Phoenix turned black, as if she were absorbing all the energy that touched her. Brett Ratner isn't smart enough or cool enough to realize stuff like that, so I should kick him in the gut.

Naw, I'm just joshin', but the was on sacred ground, and he didn't walk on eggshells. Maybe he did as we would all do, inheriting an awesome franchise--the best we could. Maybe it's Bryan Sunger I should be screaming at from his lawn at 3 am. If he hadn't got a big boner over Superman, he wouldn't have cheated on his partner before they had fully consumated. He wa slike "Ooo! Look at that sexy screenplay! I'ma fuckit! Hey Ratner, you wanna finish my beautiful wife off? I'm bore with her." ...Did I just ruin movies for you? Good.