Forum or Againstum

I feel out of place. Perhaps it was a mistake to think I could fit in, if I tried. I guess I feel like I can pick out the "vibe" of a place well, and give people what they want--ya know, put the room at ease. But then, I guess those things can turn on a dime. Like the split second when your eye must make a decision on what to interpret a mass of color as. If it's dark, a withered old tree might be seen as a withered old man. Or the idea that you can see someone as one charicature of themselves, or another, as if two of the great masters painted them without conferring: Both paintings are true, right? But both are a horrible thing to confuse the actual person for. Anyway, the energy a person reads off you is very personal. Where they are at the time (year, second, etc.). And so it shouldn't be surprising when a community of people don't take kindly to strangers. Sometimes I'M not sure if I'm well-meaning. I know I'm smart, but self-awareness fucks it up, so I'm doomed if I even TRY to fit in.

Further, it never even BRIEFLY occured to me that the topic of emulating games was taboo, or even considered pirating! I should say I didn't see it coming, but upstanding communities don't talk about piracy, or theft--unless they're safely spekaing objectively. Like wikipedia. And then I didn't see it coming that downloading the file for a commercial game--at no charge--would be illegal. So, I'm not nearly as smart as I fucking think I am. It's crazy to me that the brain can have all this seperate information, and never have a connection between them, since they're related. Some internal organization creature needs to be wandering around in there (the human memory) dusting information off and filing it better. The fact that none of that is there is actually extremely comforting. I prefer thinking of my brain as the tiny dirty roots that get pulled out of the earth along with a plant.

But MAN nerds sure are quick fucking witted! In a matter of seconds, I had 19 people jumping down my throat, until the message board's moderator (rather politely) told me to read the rules. To be honest, most of them were pretty nice, or I suppose, smug and smirking, but not angry. Even for nerds, it's gotten cool to be lazy and smarter than others, rather than pissy. Makes you easier to deal with, unless you have an inferiority complex and condescention makes you mad. Really, it just surprised me that so many people had such... well put... things to say on the matter of emulator resource extraction. That I was in the wrong for bringing it up in the first place. Witty and barbed ways of telling me this. I guess I'll make soundtracks to Super Nintendo games the old fashioned way.

If anyone gets the soundtrack to Super Metroid from me for Christmas, and it has a few random bloops and explosions, I apologize now. You can make those sounds with a straw, full of soda, by the way.