Been awhile--thought I'd ruminate

Saw the curve of the universe this morning. On the freeway to work, a motercyclist cut in front of me, just as I was thinking that those guys can go anywhere, and the safety rules of the road don't really apply to them. So, I was almost cheering him on when he was suddenly in front of me accelerating away. I was gonna fall in line, try and keep up, when a new, red sports car full of youths and new car smell, followed suit by using a few inches to cut in front of me as well. Thought maybe they knew each other but it's more likely they were just excited by the clean roar of the engine, wanted to show everyone (or at least me) who was the man. Several more cuts in front of me and I realize I need to replace my catalytic converter--no pickup these days.

Off the freeway, finishing my warm can of Coke, Modest Mouse singing about burying people alive, I pull up to a red turn arrow, and watch as a young man and two fine young ladies strut up to a crosswalk, and the less... um... completely dressed of the two kicks the crosswalk button several times, revealing what I would guess is exactly how much of her body she wanted to reveal. Aware that the boy with them, as well as myself and most other passerbys, were eating it up, and probably vaguely aware that the other fine lady was disgusted/made to feel insecure/jealous. This other woman seemed calmer and dressed more for style than attention-demanding. All this picked up through a window, and twenty feet of intervening lanes of the road, I was aware that it was messy, hormonal, American (if you follow) of me to get into her almost destructively flirtatious style, when out of the corner of my eye I see quick movement. I turn the other way, moving on from the hot young strutters, to see a small flurry of chaotic yellow motion. I guess it was a butterfly, but it was out of control. In a few seconds it was at my car then away and over the intersection then gone. There was no intention behind it's movement, but it put into image, how the morning had felt.

I was suddenly aware that something was wound tight, tighter, coiled, ready to spring. Felt like maybe if I knew how, I could key into this energy, tap it and spring forward myself. I don't know in what way. Maybe accelerate to riches, success, love, various goals. Or maybe use some super human psychokenesis, I don't know. One day, I hoped, I will understand how to do so. Knowing is half the battle, they say, and just observing what I percieved--as more than a series of events, but parts of a small whole, I felt like I was on the way. Maybe.

The arrow turned green and I carefully drove to work, and thought about how tired I was.