Happy Birthday!

Well this one guy I know, Scott, he turned 39. But then this other girl, Alice, she turned 21! Now when she said "let's go to a brewery!" I thought "Pshaw, you're just makin' things UP!" and so she elaborated and KAZAM! We set out to Woodenville, for a feisty game of Find the Obscure Location! After maybe a half hour of discovering new windy roads, which missed us the tour, and thu still know nothing of the brewing process, micro or otherwise, we began the drinking. You see there's six things that you can become parched without, and each "parchment" is different. The key is to be able to tell the diference between these, and they are this:

1. Food
2. Water
3. Air
4. Empty blatter/bowels
5. Love (possibly most important)
6. Alcohol (I am hung over right now)

These are the six. We need heat and shelter, but a lack of that doesn't really produce a parched feeling. No, it's only these six. No arguing. So, if you are thirsty, you probably need water, and often if you're feeling hungry, you actually just need water (lose weight now! Ask me how!). But there are times, and this really is key, when you think you need water, but you actually need alcohol! Is this making sense? See, people somtimes try to say "Well, that's just your drug of choice. I'd rather drink coffee or smoke cigarettes or snort a line of coke." but they fail because I'm simultaniously yelling "Shut up talking mouth! I hate your words and I hate this island!" Then I urinate in public. The point IS, that I am not an alcoholic. Hurrumph.

Finally, before returning to the event in question, I should say that someitmes it's easy to think you are parched for love, because that is a romantic notion. But I have found that though years with no romantic love will affect you, it can affect you for the best. And sometimes that loneliness is a need for a different kind of love. Maybe you love adventure and need to travel. Maybe you love people and you need to throw a party. Maybe, just maybe, you love comic books, and you need to rob the local shop and sell the shitty comics on ebay and put the rest INSIDE YOUR MIND. Or maybe you just need to get laid but in any case, there are often a hundred solutions to one problem.

So Alice has to go eat with her mom so we agree to meet up later and in the meantime we play Touchdown. A good drinking game. Alice shows up and we all agree on a walk up the street to the North City Tavern. It's a joke, but it's only funny if we actually go, so a half hour later we're ordering drinks and everyone around us is a grizzled hick! So, of course, we gotta reprisent by singing A Day in the Life, with me as John and Jacob as Paul. But who has time for karaoke and stumbling when fights are breaking out next to our table?! The bartender kicks several of the grizzled hicks out, more fights, more kicking people out, and just when we decide it's maybe time to leave, Ben shows up randomly, I guess looking for us...? So we hop in his car and on to the next bar! The Getaway, in Mountlake Terrace is also pretty classless, but at least the bartender got our orders right, and the jukebox has more than varying shades of country, so we stay and stay, and it's only last call that tells us to get some sleep. The next day I find my pants in a pile on the livingroom floor, so perhaps I was up longer than I recall? Ben must have driven me home... some vague images of Jesse trying to steal some mugs from the bar, and the bartender being more amused than angry when she caught him. She was so nice to us that I decided to make the ultimate sleaze move and leave my phone number on the credit receipt. I'm an ass. Still, my karma reserve must have been high because I was cool enough to leave a completely random number ("616 doesn't seem right... maybe if I just finish it off with four numbers that sound good..."). See, it's wacky not gross! Heh heh... Oh man...

In the end it's still better than my attempt to tip a bartender with my unfinished drink. Sketch-city.

So happy birthday Alice and here's to a 21-run none of us can remember!